


The Only Suitor I Need

by noellisetrevelyan



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Broody Elf, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Snarky Hawke, warrior hawke- Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 14:09:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3853504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noellisetrevelyan/pseuds/noellisetrevelyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Fenris thinks towards the future, he can't help but think what that might mean for Hawke. After finally reconciling, he's become more away of the many men who wish to suit her, and what her future duties to Kirkwall, being a woman of status, might mean and where they may lead.</p>
<p>And it certainly could be a future with no room for someone who had once been a slave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Only Suitor I Need

**Author's Note:**

> Been wanting to aid to the pile of Fenhawke fics for a while, but had yet to get to sitting down and writing a damn fic  
> So here's my first attempt, with hopes of doing many more in the future  
> I haven't been writing regularly for some time, so bare with me while I get used to it all again
> 
> I'm always open for suggestions for those who'd like to make them!

Sometimes Fenris thought perhaps she would be better off with another. Mahdred Hawke was a woman of nobility, had a strong influence in Kirkwall by being named the Champion after her duel with the Arishok, and was sent letters weekly by men wishing to be her suitor. Wealthy men, of noble birth, influence, and power across the Free Marches. Everyone knew who she was. She was important. But he was...

Nothing. Fenris knew he was certainly not suited for Hawke. An escaped slave from Tevinter. Danarius was dead, but what did that mean? He had his freedom, but he was still nothing, being an ex-slave and an elf in a human dominated society. Certainly not suited for Hawke. She was a woman of worth, dedicated in her cause to aid the festering citizens of Kirkwall, and was not afraid to make the hard decisions and get things done. Sure, she had some under-handed and murderous ways to get things done when it was needed, but it was all for the sake of the people, not a drive to satisfy malicious desires. She was a refugee, she didn't have to care; but she did. And what has he done? Nothing but spit his hate for mages, run from Danarius, and feel nothing but a sour regret for so many decisions he's made in the years he's known her. So many wrongs he's committed.

Fenris took a swig from the wine bottle, hoping to dash out the self-loathing with the bubbly haze the alcohol usually brought. It did nothing. That darkness still swelled around him, all consuming and impenetrable. A darkness that was alleviated only by that sly smile of Mahdred's. He gripped the bottle tightly, jaw tight, muscles tense and ready to spring. Then with a shout, he chucked the bottle at the far wall of the room, startling the guest it had so nearly hit.

Mahdred was thankful for quick reflexes and stepped back as the bottle sailed passed her face, shattering against the wall beside her. Fenris tensed up ever tighter, a look of apology on his face. Hawke simply cocked an eyebrow in question.

"Have a bad day? And we didn't even have to kill any blood mages."

Fenris scoffed, turning back to the fire blazing before him, unable to bring himself to look upon his beloved. Everything he was now lay with Hawke. Having freedom wasn't quite what he had expected. Being a slave for so long, having no memories of his past, he didn't know what it was to be free, or how to conduct his life. He had nothing, save this squalid mansion he squatted in, and Mahdred Hawke. She was all he needed, but he couldn't possibly be what she wanted. Mahdred could sense the tension, see it in his stance, and her coy nature smoothed out into one of concern, a side reserved only for Fenris. She walked over to where he stood, bringing a hand to his shoulder. His muscles relaxed a fraction under her touch. She had that effect on him.

"A silver for your thoughts?

The words wouldn't come. They were caught in his throat. Afraid of losing her again (though he was the one at fault the first time), afraid of keepin her trapped. Too much fear to bear.

_Fenris is no one's slave!_

_You'll always be a slave..._

"Mahdred..."

Hawke tensed. Fenris only used her first name when expressing affection, or when he was distressed. It always softened her, using the name that wasn't tied to The Champion of Kirkwall. Everyone knew Hawke; few knew Mahdred. It was a way of telling her to shirk the woman she was for the public, the woman she HAD to be for Kirkwall, and to be the woman Fenris sometimes needed aside from all of her sarcasm and jest.

"Fenris...what's bothering you?"

Fenris turned his head slightly, to glimpse her out of the corner of his eye. She appeared a bit fearful and anxious behind her cool exterior. He could see a misunderstanding was brewing between them. He had to settle that fast. He finally, if a little reluctantly, turned to Hawke, taking one of her hands and removing the gauntlet, tossing it carelessly aside. Fenris then brought her hand to his face, feeling every bit of her skin; how warm and sweaty it was, trapped in leather and heavy metal after a long day, the callouses from years of combat. He knew every inch of her skin well, head to toe. But with the comfort the closeness of contact brought, there was a pain to his face that made the anxiety in her chest grow stronger. She could feel her breath growing harder to catch.

"We spoke of our future...I...I said how...I would stay gladly by your side, always...I know...you had said the same...but I..."

Mahdred snatched her hand away, the hurt starting to show through more. He wasn't doing this well.

"Yes, I did. Because I meant it Fenris. I waited...saved myself three years for you. No one else...are you...did YOU really mean it? Or were you just spitting out the first thing that came to mind in the heat of the moment?"

Fenris could feel the tension coming back to him, the anger bubbling up above the fear and pain. This was why talking to Hawke was so difficult; they were both easily angered, and misunderstandings happened more often than not. It came with them both feeling in such a strong and yet silent way, a way where words were hard to piece together. But he had to keep a clear head. He had to breathe and stop this before it got worse. He shifted in his feet, trying to sift through all of the meaningless words in his head to find the right ones.

"Hawke..."

Fenris released a tired sigh.

"I meant what I said. And I'll say it again; I will walk gladly at your side. If there's any future for me, it's with you. But you..."

Fenris turned back to the fire, the sadness taking over the anger once more, feeling the fight drain from his body. He couldn't face everything with brute strength. He needed to use more tact. Running and fighting all the time, it wasn't what he wanted anymore, now that he could have a future. But that future...

"You have options. You have status and a future beyond...me."

Startling realization came to Hawke, and the fight fell away from her body.

"Oh Fenris..."

Fenris stepped away from her before Mahdred could reach out to him. He had to say this.

"You have your family's title back, you're a positive influence for Kirkwall...you could do so much for the people here, and yet, you choose to consort with an escaped slave. There is no future for you with me in it. There's no...room for me."  
Stillness filled the air. Fenris felt sick. He didn't know if it was the wine, his overwhelming fear, or both, but he felt he could wretch at any moment. He wanted to sink into himself, run away. The fear gripped him tightly, the darkness closing in around him. For the briefest moment, he almost thought it would have been easier if they hadn't shared that moment, after the death of his former master. It would have been so much easier to just leave it be.

_Such a fool..._

In an instant, the darkness was blasted through with warmth, a beacon so bright the self-deprivating thoughts had no room in his head. Every time he had expected rejection, Mahdred Hawke proved him wrong. She wrapped her arms firmly around him, holding Fenris from behind, tight against her body. Her face rested into the crook of his neck, and he let his cheek nuzzle against the top of her head.

"Fenris, you really are a fool. How...why would you..."

Mahdred couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Her silly Fenris. Yes, this was a bit serious. She could feel how stiff he was in her grasp, ready to bolt, so full of doubt. But he really was right when he said he was a fool, though he wasn't exactly a fool for the wrong reasons.

"Do you know WHY I've chosen you, stay with you, no matter the hardships?"

Fenris turned to face Hawke, who had a kindness to her face she saved only for him. Fenris honestly felt honored she saved the little gentleness she had in her for him. Usually harsh and sarcastic, she shrugged most people off, deflected their concerns, save special circumstances. Sure, she helped, but she was always so snarky about it. Not Fenris. Well...not all the time. Not when it most mattered. Mahdred held his face in her hands, allowing a thumb to trace the lyrium mark that trailed up to his chin, her eyes fixed to his.

"Because I see nothing wrong with being with the one that I love. You are no longer a slave, nor are you on the run. You're free of Danarius. Free. You are an elf of fierce loyalty and devotion. We don't see eye to eye on certain...matters, but still you stand by my side, always there when I need it. Hell, do you know how many times I may have come to grave harm had you not been looking out for my back?"

Fenris managed a chuckle, if a bit strained.

"I try not to count. You can be...reckless sometimes, especially when you go into a rage in battle. Reavers have never been known for keeping a calm head when in battle."

Mahdred gave Fenris a small punch to the chest, the smallest scowl pulling her face. Another laugh, this time more genuine.

"What I'm trying to say is...to the darkest part of the Deep Roads to those fool suitors. There is no one else I'd rather spend my future with, than you. Always..."

Fenris could feel his fear melting away, as it always did when Mahdred spoke to him with such reassurance. She hid nothing and was always a forward and blunt woman, which got her into the most trouble here in this pustule of a city. But it's also why when she spoke such words, he knew she meant them with all of her being. He could do nothing but believe them, and find such relief in them. Fenris tilted Hawke's head up, pressed his lips softly against hers. The kiss started tender, gentle, then all of their pent up stress and earlier aggression came out, and soon Mahdred had Fenris pressed up against the wall, a fiery passion sparking between them in their kiss. Fenris could feel the arousal bubbling inside of him, his cock starting to stir and throb in his trousers.

"Mahdreeeed..."

Fenris pushed her back, a yearning look in his eye. What this damned woman did to him.

"Only YOU could drive me to such a need after such a heavy talk. And I thought I had no tact..."

Hawke punched him again, the most devilish smile gracing her lips.

"Would you have me any other way Fenris? You know I'm not good with the mushy shit."

Fenris gave his signature smirk, knowing how mad it would drive dear Hawke. If he was being honest, he wouldn't have it any other way. He and Mahdred were lovers of few words, where they'd rather proclaim their love and desire for each other in actions rather than words. For all the things in their lives that set them apart, moments like this reminded Fenris they weren't really so different, and that perhaps Hawke was right.

Perhaps he was just the sort of person she needed in her life. And if she would have him, he would stay.

Always.


End file.
